This is the time in the calendar when the school year is winding down. Once again I find myself wondering what in tarnation’s the matter with certain fool kids.
Certain fool kids who fail classes that they could have passed with ease, but instead are on the verge of failing—or are guaranteed to fail—due to poor attendance and not turning in assignments. This isn’t quantum physics, folks: it’s a simple case of cause-and-effect. Show up and do your assignments, and the odds are overwhelmingly in your favor that you’ll pass the course. Pile up the absences and amass a hefty collection of zeros in the gradebook, and odds are also overwhelmingly in favor that you’re going to get yourself a nice fat F. In a surprising number of cases, I rather wonder if said kid isn’t amassing a collection of those big fat Fs.
May I suggest collecting stamps or LPs or butterflies instead?
It’s so simple.
And yet for some kids it’s so mind-bogglingly difficult. It’s almost as if they’re born with a shotgun pointed at their own feet, ready to go off at a moment’s notice. Is there any way to take the shotgun out of those kids’ hands? I’ve been looking for a solution for nearly forty years and I’ll be hanged if I have a clue. Some students would appear to be every bit as determined to fail as others are to succeed.
About the only thing that has changed over the years for me is my overall attitude towards these silly kids and their self-destructive behavior: nowadays I flunk them without a moment’s remorse. You don’t measure up, you fail. I don’t care if your mother loved you or didn’t love you or if you have self-esteem issues or you’re afflicted with overwhelming narcissism. I averaged it up, took off the published penalties for absences, and you didn’t reach 60% for a scrape-by D minus. You’re getting an F, which means you’ll have to take the course over if it’s a required one, or stick around for a while longer if the loss of credits delays your graduation. That’s it, kid.
You flunk. That’s so simple, as well.